Nathan David Smith
Honesty in an Apology
Honesty in an Apology
By Nathan David Smith
Characters
Dave - male, late 20’s, a neurotic writer and son of Ron
Ron - male, early 50’s, an alcoholic father with a giant suitcase of baggage he’s unable to open
Joyce - female, mid 30’s, a nurse just trying to do her job
Time
Present
Setting
A hospital room.
(A hospital room. The fluorescent lights bounce off the pristine white walls and cabinets giving the room an almost ethereal glow. Ron lays on the bed, motionless. Joyce and Dave enter.)
Joyce
Here you are.
Dave
Thank you. How’s he been?
Joyce
Still some bouts of short term memory loss, but otherwise all of his vitals have been stable.
Dave
Short term memory loss? How do you know --
Joyce
He’s woken up a few times. Each for only a couple minutes. But he hasn’t been able to remember any of the previous occurrences.
Dave
So what happened exactly?
Joyce
The doctor found excessive amounts of alcohol in his system. That mixed with his valium prescription caused his body to go into this state.
Dave
But things are looking good?
Joyce
Things look promising. However, you should know with any incident like this there may be lingering effects cognitively and physically. He may be a little different than he was before.
Dave
Honestly, that might not be such a bad thing. Sorry, that was uh, weird, to say. We just, uh, didn’t have the best relationship, ya know, it’s fine, I’m fine.
Joyce
Well let me know if there’s anything you need.
(Joyce starts to exit.)
Dave
Did he mention anything about the drinking?
Joyce
Oh, uh, no, he didn’t.
Dave
I mean, uh, do you think that he remembers it or…?
Joyce
Honestly I don’t know.
Dave
Oh, uh, yeah okay.
Joyce
I know that events like this can be very traumatic so if you need to talk to someone, we do have a psychiatric facility on floor two.
Dave
Oh, yeah, no, I mean, I’m good. Thank you though.
(Joyce exits)
Hey dad.
(Dave sits in the chair next to his father’s bed.)
Not gonna lie, it’s weird seeing you right now. Even speaking to you for that matter. This isn’t how I pictured our reunion. In a hospital room. Unable to actually communicate.(Beat) I, uh, never got around to telling you, but I got into the graduate writing program at Columbia. It’s going well so far. Nothing too crazy. Just... writing pretty much all the time. I, uh... actually had to do this writing exercise last week. It was to write a list of 10 things I never told someone that I wished I had. The professor wanted us to use it to find some sort of catharsis. “Without catharsis your writing will only reside in the realm of resentment.” I don’t know if I fully believe it, but I understand the sentiment. (Beat) He suggested mailing it as a letter. I thought about doing that, until I heard… you were, uh, here. So I thought I’d come keep you company and, uh, honestly, for my own selfish reasons, read it... to you. Uh… yeah.
(Dave pulls out the letter.)
“Things I never told my father…”
(Ron starts to mumble and wake from his stupor.)
Dad?
Ron
Dave…
Dave
Uh -- hey.
Ron
Hey son…
Dave
Do -- do you want me to get Joyce?
Ron
Who?
Dave
Joyce? The nurse?
(Ron shakes his head “No”.)
Okay. Do you need anything?
Ron
Water..
Dave
Uh yeah definitely -- Uhmm…
(Dave pulls a water bottle out of his backpack.)
Here ya go.
Ron
How long have you been here?
Dave
Not long. 5 minutes maybe?
(Ron starts into a coughing fit.)
You sure you don’t want me to get Joyce?
Ron
No. It’s fine. I’m fine.
Dave
How are you feeling?
Ron
Tired.
Dave
You should go back to sleep.
Ron
I’m fine, really.
Dave
Do you, uh, want any jello or anything?
Ron
No -- you’re here that’s all I need.
(silence)
I never would’ve expected you to be here.
Dave
Honestly, me neither.
Ron
So… uh, how’ve you been? What’s new?
Dave
Uhmm… uh, things are good. Honestly, I -- I don’t even know where to begin.
Ron
What’ve you been up to?
Dave
I’m in a Creative Writing program at Columbia. The graduate program.
Ron
Really? That’s great, Dave.
Dave
Yeah. I mean it’s kind of silly. Like, I don’t know how I’m gonna make a living as a writer. But I’m gonna try, I guess.
Ron
At least you’re pursuing your passion.
Dave
Yeah, I don’t know, sometimes it feels like I didn’t need to pay $200k to pursue my passion. Ya know?
Ron
It’s okay to make an investment in yourself.
Dave
Only if I can make a return on it.
Ron
You will, I know you will.
Dave
You’re not a fair judge. You’ve never read anything I’ve written.
Ron
Well I’d love to read something sometime.
Dave
Oh, uh, yeah, we can make that happen… sometime.
Ron
I would love that.
(Awkward silence)
I’ve missed you.
Dave
Yeah? I, uh, missed you too.
Ron
I’m hoping to get out of here soon. Maybe we can spend more time together in the future?
Dave
Uhm.. yeah.. That could be… good, I guess.
Ron
I know I haven’t always been the best dad, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix things now.
Dave
Uh, yeah, no that’d be great.
Ron
Yeah, it really would be.
(Silence)
So what else has been going on?
Dave
Oh-- well uh, I stopped drinking.
Ron
Oh yeah?
Dave
Yeah it’s been six months.
Ron
Nice.
Dave
It was the right choice for me. Have you, uh, been drink--
Ron
Do you still smoke?
Dave
Oh, uh, yeah a bit. Why?
Ron
I don’t know. Just curious.
Dave
Yeah, I mean, I’d love to stop. It’s just… hard. Ya know, addiction and what not.
Ron
I get it.
Dave
Yeah, definitely.
Ron
We all have our vices.
Dave
Exactly. So, have you, uh, been drinking?
Ron
Nope.
Dave
Really?
Ron
Yeah, really. I can’t tell you the last time I had a drink.
Dave
Uhm, you know you can tell me the truth.
Ron
I am.
Dave
Because if you have been drinking I’d rather you tell me then lie to protect me, or whatever.
Ron
I haven’t.
Dave
Dad…
Ron
Yeah, son?
Dave
Have you been going to any meetings lately?
Ron
What? Like AA?
Dave
Yeah, or like, uh, therapy, or... anything?
Ron
Why would I need therapy?
Dave
I don’t know. I mean… I’ve been going to therapy. It’s been really helpful.
Ron
You don’t need therapy.
Dave
You had a different opinion of that when I was in second grade.
Ron
You’re still upset about that?
Dave
I had to go to the guidance counselor every week.
Ron
You were depressed. You said you wished you were never born.
Dave
I was eight! I wasn’t actually going to hurt myself!
Ron
How was I supposed to know that?
Dave
It’s not my fault you were too drunk to have any sense.
Ron
I’ve already apologized about this.
Dave
Not that it really matters, but I don’t think you did…?
Ron
Well… I’m sorry that you had to go to therapy.
Dave
Uh, thanks... I guess.
(Silence. Beat.)
Do you know how you ended up in here?
Ron
I have a bad heart.
Dave
Uh, okay.
Ron
Yeah, and it, uh… gave out.
Dave
That’s not why you’re here.
Ron
Yes it is.
Dave
You were drinking on your valium.
Ron
No. I wasn’t.
Dave
Stop. Just tell me the truth.
Ron
No, I, uh, I… don’t know.
Dave
Well the doctor found alcohol and valium in your system when you were brought in.
Ron
They’re lying.
Dave
No they’re not. That doesn’t even make any sense.
Ron
They want my money.
Dave
No, dad, stop. That doesn’t even correlate.
Ron
Cause the longer they keep me here the more money they get.
Dave
No, dad. Please. Just tell me the truth.
Ron
What? What do you want? What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry? That I hate myself and wish that everything was different? That my life is a pile of trash and that I’m sorry that I wasn’t the dad that I should’ve been? What? What do you want from me?
Dave
I just want you to tell me the truth!
Ron
The truth is… yeah. I’ve been drinking. I honestly don’t know if that’s what caused all of this, but I have been.
Dave
Okay.
Ron
It was a mistake.
Dave
Yeah. I know.
Ron
Is that what you wanted? Do you feel better now?
Dave
No.
Ron
(Getting more agitated)
I did what you wanted. I’m sorry that I made a fucking mistake!
Dave
It’s not the fact that you made a mistake, dad, it’s that you continuously make the same mistake! I gave you so many goddamn chances to tell the truth. It never changes. The lying. The drinking. I mean seriously, look at yourself. You’re literally hospitalized from getting too fucked up.
Ron
Tell me how to fix this.
Dave
It doesn’t mean anything if I tell you what I want to hear.
Ron
Then how can I make it right?
Dave
You should’ve known how to make it right before this talk.
Ron
I didn’t.
Dave
Okay.
(Dave starts to exit)
Ron
Where are you going? Wait. Don’t leave.
Dave
I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I tried. I wanted to give you another chance, but I can’t right now.
Ron
(Ad-lib with a gradual build.)
Dave. Dave, no, please stop. STOP! DAVE!
(Ron starts to go into a state of emotional distraught, hysteria. His heart monitor is pulsing at an extreme rate. Ron goes on like this for some time before Joyce rushes in.)
Joyce
Ron, Ron you’re okay. Everything’s okay. I need you to take some deep breaths. Can you do that with me?
(Joyce grabs Ron’s hand and starts taking some deep breaths with him. He slowly calms down. And falls back to sleep.)
Dave wanted me to give this to you.
(Joyce lays the note next to Ron. The lights go out, blackout, on the hospital room and spotlight reveals Dave at the front of the stage.)
Dave
Things I never told my father… I forgive you.